ECO Lonely Hearts Corner
20 October 2014
Dear ECO,
I’m a 6,000-year-old woman (but a lady never reveals her true age) looking for suitors who are prepared to send me ambitious INDCs. I enjoy slow change, spinning around, long orbits around the sun, regular seasons, and cute and fluffy animals. My dislikes include comets, mass extinctions, ice ages, solar flares and fossil fuels. I’ve had a rough relationship history and my sudden break up with the dinosaurs wasn’t easy either. Currently, I’m in an extremely abusive relationship with Homo Sapiens, they’re keeping me sweating.
I must admit that I have volatile tipping points and I have become icy cold and uncomfortably hot in the past. I’m afraid that if I have to deal with further weak promises and empty “commitments”, I may do something rash and enter a state of anger that will make the hurricanes, droughts and storms that you’ve seen before look mild.
I’m hoping to retain my stability by receiving lots of INDCs from suitors who are:
- Interested in 5 year commitments periods (I need some long term security and not another decade in a destructive relationship)
- Transparent about the level of effort that they will invest in my wellbeing
- Willing to indicate how much money and other support they will provide to keep me happy
- Upfront about how much external support they will need to make the relationship work if the INDC is from someone with less capability
- Adaptable: I have some historical scarring that is likely to make any future relationships difficult and I will need all the INDCs to indicate adaptation plans as I blow off steam
- Passionate about equitable relationships and my long-term prosperity
- Willing to review, and if necessary improve, their contribution to making our relationship work
- Willing to submit to expert counselling to ensure that they are doing enough to make a long-term relationship work
- Willing to start work immediately to prevent any further damage to my person
Suitors that have caused harm in the past and that have lots of resources, send me your ambitious proposals by March 2015. Those out there who have caused less harm or that have low capability can send their proposals by June 2015.
Yours in anticipation,
Mother Earth